Does this make sense?
This week I am transitioning my financial planning business to a new broker/dealer (my firm was sold). It's going to take every ounce of strength I have to get through all the details. I have the most incredible partner on this journey and Lynn has been handling everything to prepare for the change. I'd be lost without her.
...
As I prepare for my first meeting with the new firm since Hunter died I wrote some guidelines so that all of us would have some clarity about what will help and what won't. I thought I'd share them so that we can all give thought to how to consider the needs of loved ones and co-workers that are grieving. These are specific to me... we all need different things. I hope to encourage you to be willing to guide the people around you so you have the best possible experience of their love and support.
...
"This will be my first meeting since my son died. I'm tender and wanted to give everyone a heads up about what helps and what doesn't (at least this is what I know at the moment).
For some reason the expression, "I'm sorry for your loss." makes me mad-- so it's best to avoid that.
What does help--
1) Understand that I might need to hear things more than once
2) Offer to help if I get overwhelmed or simply can't function on a given day
3) Be clear and simple in the way you communicate, and follow up with an email so I can read through it again.
4) Ask "How are things for you right now?" rather than "How are you?"-- and being willing to hear the answer
5) I'm used to having a great amount of energy and being high functioning. Right now, I'm neither. Be sensitive and check in with me, especially if we are on a call and you sense I'm checking out. This is as new for me as it is for you. I don't have a roadmap. I might burst into tears-- and if I do please trust that I will be ok. I know how to grieve and I'm good at taking care of myself. If I need to stop the call and reschedule, I'll let you know. Otherwise, just give me a few moments to gather myself, and then we can move on."
6) I'm open to talking about my journey with grief and about Hunter--AND timing is important. If I need to focus on details in a meeting it would be best not to go there, but in a one-on-one call you can check in with me. I certainly don't want people to avoid asking me about Hunter because honestly, that feels much worse.
Does this make sense?
