It takes a village
Last night we sat in our living room, sipping moonlight tea, and listening to Angela's experience from the moment she got the call that Hunter died. She is an angel incarnate and has a gift for holding space, creating safety, and allowing/validating every feeling, every need, every fucking horrible decision that has to be made. Angela and her husband, Charlie, supported us when we did a vision quest in Eastern Oregon in 2015 (the one that resulted in the birth of Sacred Money Studios)-- helping us prepare; hiking to our quest sites multiple times through rain, hail, and intense sun; tending the fire 24/7; welcoming us back from the journey with the sweetest watermelon imaginable and the most loving hugs. She was by our side when we got married in our backyard in July 2016 when I was crazy with grief over my mom's ALS diagnosis and couldn't wrap my head around details AT ALL and wanted more than anything to celebrate my love for my beloved. She was by Amy's side for a four-year commitment to our women's ceremonial circle, Women of the 14th Moon, supporting, comforting, managing intense emotions, grounding the circle, and making sure that Amy was fed, nurtured, understood, and honored. So, we learned last night that when she got the news that Hunter had died she felt wild with grief and helplessness-- and not knowing what to do, after pacing in the kitchen for half an hour, she got in the car, bought some groceries and arrived at our house mid-afternoon. I had been home from Toni's house (where Hunter died) for an hour and was sitting outside in stunned silence. Angela's superpower is being a helper in a way that is both humble and solid. She shows up, holds the net, catches all the pieces that are flying through the air at warp speed, and keeps everyone connected with love lines of luminesce. And this is exactly what she did on a day I'll never, sadly, forget- August 28th, 2020.
...
I was a zombie walking through the worst nightmare yet everywhere I turned I was met with grace, tenderness, tools, space, and the most incredible family and community support. There was food, Kleenex, and candles. I never had to talk on the phone or drive myself anywhere. Healers grounded me with skilled hands. I felt protected from unnecessary decisions and details. A tent magically appeared in our backyard so I had a space to be on the earth, away from the chaos of our remodel. The gathering that we had in a nearby park after the burial was orchestrated by my amazing women's group, and each night for six nights we held Shiva and people came bearing food, flowers, gifts, hugs, and stories. Throughout all of this Angela fielded dozens of phone calls a day so that our families were on the same page-- she did this for 8 days! While I was in a blur of family arriving and leaving, having only enough energy each day to be present for an hour and a half of Shiva, Angela and so many others were smoothing the edges and making sure we were getting what we needed.
.....
It takes a village to bury and grieve the loss of a beloved son/friend/brother/nephew /cousin. It will take a village to hold space and tend the fire while we descend into the arms of darkness. To Angela and all the angels that continue to feed, nourish, and love us, thank you.
