Shards of Light

After a raw day, I came home, detailed our cars while sobbing (they were a mess from all my grave decorating adventures), gratefully received dinner from Deanna, and collapsed in my chair, tears mixing with my tea. Around 8pm I looked at Amy and said, "Want to go to bed early and watch some short grief films?" (as though I were inviting foreplay)-- She gave me a look-- WTF? but saw I was serious, so she said, "Sure, sounds like a blast!"

Just as we snuggled in, iPad propped between us, film cued up, I got a text from Aspen asking if I wanted to read a poem. Aspen is my soul daughter-- We met four years ago during our 14th Moon ceremony and I instantly felt like her mother. I imagine I've been her mother before because she is so familiar and beloved. Now a beautiful 18-year-old, Aspen has been a steady comfort since Hunter died. She has been spending weekends with us as her home life is challenging. When I read this poem I thought-- Wow! That's an amazing poem. Then she told me that she wrote it for me. I was stunned. It is so wise-- and showed me a side of Aspen I haven't seen before. What other gems are cradled within her tender soul? What a blessing to have her in my life.

NEST

I can feel our arms around each other,

And his arms around you

And all the arms of all those that cherish us

Weaving a nest

Where we can be still for a while.

We do not know what we will become here,

In the small warm dark of our shells

In the wide winds of time,

The pain surrenders to alchemy,

It does not leave

But slowly

It evolves.

One day,

In a swirl of a breeze far away still,

We will crack open into new truths,

And see with just born eyes,

There is no beginning

And no end

Between the ancient light that we are,

And that is all around,

Always soaking into anything that needs it

And never dying.

Even when the worlds of our souls

Must curl and twist their backs from the sky

In this deep liquid sea of chrysalis,

The light cradles the farthest edges of us.

Even when we emerge,

Stretching our hearts into new dawns,

We thank all those who have held us,

Without fear,

And we honor the divinity of the darkness.