How to show up

Today is Friday. Many in my community have been called to do acts of kindness in honor of Hunter, as it was on a Friday that he transitioned.

I'm going to challenge you to a new understanding of generosity & kindness.

---Kindness is honoring important days in the year for people in your life that have lost a loved one-- their spouse or child's birthday, the holidays, the day they died. A simple text or phone call validates the mourner's grief, bearing witness to their loss. And please don't think this only matters for the first year. This matters for the rest of their life- especially if it was their child who died.

--Generosity is asking your closest people what they are grieving right now (we are ALL grieving-- loss is part of being human) and then asking them to tell you more. Being curious is one of the most generous things you give another person. You will be surprised by what you learn and you'll feel more connected as a result.

--Instead of just thinking about the people you cherish, the people that inspire or challenge you-- TELL THEM. Again, it's an act of generosity & kindness to share your appreciation. It's incredible how much we need this reflection-- we need to be seen-- we need to know we matter.

--Imagine tomorrow is your last day on earth-- Who needs to know how much you love them? Who needs an extra hug or a warm meal? Who do you hold back from loving out of fear? I think it's amazing how differently the world feels when we step out of the invisibility cloak of fear and trust that our voice, our love, our presence matters-- and we are the only one that can contribute this particular color/sparkle/luminesce to the world.

Shine people! We need you. I need you.

I offer you this poem that has guided me since my father died in 1991:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”

doesn’t make any sense.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill

where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.

Don’t go back to sleep.”

Rumi

PS. Thank you Cathy Ali, Julie and Kat Zenterra for the beautiful painted rocks.