Messages from Hunter

I have been receiving messages from Hunter-- writing in the dark of the morning as the words tumble out. On Dec 1st I wrote for over an hour when suddenly my computer went black. I had run out of power, which I didn't realize because I write with my eyes closed and the screen light was almost off. After rebooting I realized that it didn't get saved and there was no recovered file. Crap. I could only remember a few things. Hunter said that there would be a health scare--It would be ok, but I had one more intense thing to go through before the lessons needed for the next stage of my life were complete. Well, that turned out to be prophetic.
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Sunday night, after a lovely, Covid-safe evening with friends in our pod, we came home and Amy started feeling really sick-- fever, chills, lethargic, confused. She immediately thought "Covid!". Called the 24-hour advice nurse who said "go to the ER right away". Long story short, seven hours later, completely exhausted from waiting and waiting for blood draws, urine samples, x-rays, covid swab, the doctor's evaluation-- we were faced with a decision. Amy's fever, headache, and high white blood count led the doctor to want to rule out Meningitis and the Covid results would take a day or two. The only way to test for this was a spinal tap. It was 3am. I lost it. Tears spilling over my weary eyes. I was no longer strong or brave or patient. I was scared, exhausted, frustrated, and confused. Then, the biggest NO rose up inside of me. No, you are not going to do that to my beloved wife. No, she doesn't have meningitis. No, No, No. I also knew she didn't have Covid. Just knew in my bones. What I didn't know was why we needed to go through this. Amy had already had two blood draws while in the ER, not to mention surgery two weeks ago with multiple needles. She has needle trauma... and this was more than she could handle. We decided to take the risk, trust our guts, and go home. Not sure how I got us home at 5;30am. We slept in separate rooms in case she did have Covid. I canceled my appointments and crashed, hard. The day was a blur. I felt like crap. My brother and niece brought amazing food after I reached out for help. Amy was still exhausted but her fever broke and she had been up to make tea. I was coughing and achy and anticipating a rough week of quarantine.
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As I dozed I heard the message-- you are incubating. I thought about what that might mean-- warm, dark, quiet, healing, protected. I burrowed into my bed and allowed myself to sink in, to rest. At 6pm Amy got word that she tested negative. Immediately, relief entered our home. I got out of bed, had some dinner, and spent time with Aspen while Amy rested and watched a show. I avoided my phone and computer. I gazed out the window and allowed myself to just be grateful, be still, be whole. What was the lesson in this? Perhaps it will come clear in the days to come. For now, it seems we avoided a major crisis. I am sooooo ready for this year to come to a close