How is your Grief?

HOW IS YOUR GRIEF?

A poem by Luna Jaffe

———

Simple words

no frills or pretense,

an opening, a doorway

an invitation to enter, if willing.

Why is it so hard

to ask the deeper question?

We are afraid

to touch the wound

to smell the blood

to hear the guttural sobs.

We are afraid of

unleashing the beast,

the unspoken agony of loving,

because we know,

in some quiet corner of our heart

we could be next.

Everything you love

you will lose.

Why not become

better equipped

to tread water

in the sea of sorrow?

You are not immune.

I pray it's not your child,

I wish I could spare

every mother

this heartache,

yet there are so many of us.

When we learn to grieve

in the circle of community,

When we discover we are stronger

with arms and hearts linked,

When wailing and ceremony

are honored and welcome,

Then and only then,

will the circle of life,

which is love,

be whole.

PS. I realize the reason I can write and share these poems, experiences, and deep inner wanderings is because I have been blessed with the most incredible community of family, friends, clients and colleagues. I have been given such blessings and I'm aware that so many people don't have this-- they grieve alone, without the validation and space of people that get it, and as a result they minimize their losses and the deep alchemical process of grief is prolonged or never fully experienced. It is for you that I write. It is for you that I reach out and say "you are not alone". If there's anything I've learned from sharing here it's that the more I open and tell you the truth, the more I become part of you, connected through a network of energy that spans the globe. Vulnerability invites others to join me at the table of sorrow so that I am not dining alone.

A special acknowledgment to Annie Adams, also a grieving mother, who was the first one to ask, "How is your grief". I have learned from her example how I become visible when asked the right question.