Dead Boy Diaries Part IV
Things are settling down. I’m dancing in the constellations yet still tethered to those I love on earth. It’s a tricky and fascinating experience. I still haven’t figured out how to make my presence known… I mean, mom is getting better at understanding the human body is the veil and that being overly identified with having a body is, actually, the veil, the barrier between where I am and where the rest of you are.
I am in class a LOT and it’s much more fun than high school or college though, honestly, you all have a way to go. Did you hear that all the way in Nigeria there are roads and a well that is named after me? That’s crazy. I like it though… still wish I could have made that kind of impact while alive, but that’s another story. I love the way we plant ideas in mom’s head, and she listens. That’s part of my training right now. Luckily, I don’t have to write any papers… but there are some wicked hard tests, they just don’t come in the form of multiple-choice exams that have to be completed in two hours. Here, there are no time limits… my teachers say, “take as long as you want, we are in no hurry”. And you can’t move on until you pass the test. Duh!
I love hanging out with Bob and I call him grandpa just to piss him off. He’s getting used to it though, so I have to find other ways to razz him. It’s so weird how much alike we are—curious, not fond of rules, emotional (even though we aren’t supposed to be… it’s unsouly of us!) We like hanging out with the cute angels and nymphs, we push the boundaries and hate to be questioned. And we are both devoted to mom, especially when she is exploring the edges of consciousness. That’s when the portal opens, and we take our places by her side. We also feed her spirit with word seeds that take root in her creativity.
Now she is calling on us to help with an honoring ceremony for the one-year anniversary. It feels like a hundred years since I left my body! I’ve traveled the universe and still, on earth, time is strangely linear and compressed in a shape I don’t really understand. Nevertheless, we know how important it is to mom that she create a ceremony to mark this threshold. We want her to be near water. I keep telling her, over and over, that water has a frequency that makes it easier to connect and every chance she gets she needs to drink, bathe, anoint, swim, sprinkle, bless, wade, and immerse herself in water. Water is so uniquely of the earth—maybe that’s why it helps us? Water and music.
I’m so excited that mom is finding her way back to her voice. Every day I nudge her forward. Sing, Mom… sing, I say. It’s okay. Singing is a channel that will open between us the more it’s used. Actually, moving freely while singing is key. It’s like the movement and sound increase her light so we can see her better. Does that make sense?
Soon there will be resources for transforming the lower garage—what used to be my man cave and hangout, into a dance and sound studio. We’re working on this. Magic will happen there. Once we have crossed this year mark the book will emerge. I already gave mom the title (but we’re not telling what it is yet… it’ll be a surprise). We’re actually holding all the pieces of the book in our files… we’ve been gathering and organizing so that when the time comes it will flow onto the page in a burst. I love writing (did I just say that?)—well it’s much easier to write through my mom than it ever was when I had a pen in my hand. Doubt and fear always grabbed the pen out of my hand before I could get the thoughts on the page. Mom doesn’t have this problem and she’s getting good at dictation. We’re a team. I wonder if she’ll give me a byline on the book. That would be cool. Meanwhile, the journey continues. We got through the agonizing task of designing my headstone. Glad that’s behind us. We’re holding space, sending signs, and each day I get a little better at showing up for all that is before us