Dancing with Wolves
On December 19th we drove south out of Sedona, across Rt 17, and over dirt roads for miles to arrive at the Medicine Lodge and Wolf Sanctuary. We were greeted by Healing Wolf, a beautiful elder with flowing white hair and a love of sharing the stories of her home and mission. The stone and wood plank walls are over a hundred years old and are covered with sacred drums, art, feathers, historic items found on the land, animal skins and antlers. Sacred burial grounds and medicine wheels surround her property and the wolves have dug up many ceramic shards, hunting implements, fossils (one that is over 500 million years old!), arrowheads, even well-preserved remnants of tightly woven baskets. Healing Wolf refuses to dig on any of the sacred mounds but if the wolves discover things, she considers them an offering and preserves them for visitors to learn from. She currently has four wolves-- we spent time with the two arctic wolves first.
....
They were eager to be with us and invited belly rubs through their thickly matted fur. Interestingly, as much as they were rolling in the dirt and still shedding, there was no fur on my clothes and no dog smell at all. The challenge for me was that our host told story after story of amazing experiences other people have had with the wolves and we wanted our own experience.. in silence. But as she droned on and on I tried to ignore her and connect with the two beauties I was sharing with Amy.
....
When it came time to visit with the other wolves, as we walked around the compound and she continued to chatter without taking a breath, I finally got the courage to say that I needed to share something. I looked at her and said, "I'm feeling flooded. I need silence. Our son died recently and this is overwhelming... can we spend time with the wolves without any talking?" The tears started flowing. She seemed to understand and finally stepped out of her stories to see that we were grieving. I was invited into the second enclosure with Larka and Dakota while Amy sat just outside. Dakota came to the sanctuary on his deathbed and remains leery of visitors. Though we didn't interact directly it felt like he was holding space for us, protecting us, and learning from his more social packmate. Larka, on the other hand, was immediately engaged with me. She wanted to play, loved having her back rubbed, and looked deeply into my eyes. When our host started talking again, I found myself getting irritated so I left the enclosure and invited Amy could go in. Even while on the outside, Larka returned to me, keeping me in sight, holding space with me. Eventually, I went back in to take photos of Amy and Larka immediately started to play with me, tugging at the sleeve of my jacket, tussling with me. I was feeling raw and crouched down and started to cry. She came right to me, nose to nose, eye to eye, her presence so strong. I felt her communicate "I'm right here" in the same way I hear Hunter say that. I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed into her thick coat. She held perfectly still, occasionally turning her head to nuzzle my hair. When I let go she stayed close, even leaned into me at one point, giving me the comfort and weight of her body. I didn't want to leave yet knew when it was time. Larka settled on the ground a few feet away, watching as we prepared to leave. I went over, kissed her on the head, and thanked her for the magic and medicine. She looked in my eyes and blinked. "I've got you-- I've got you"
