A Blessing for Those Walking with Grief

It is easy to get sucked into the vortex of Why. Why did my beloved person die? Why am I left to carry this grief? Why couldn't I have more time with them?

But Why is a sneaky bastard, a trickster, a scam artist that looks for your weakness and prays on the rawness of your heart. Do not court him. Do not look his way lest you be swept off your feet by his cunning ways. Instead, sit with me for a bit and listen not just with your heart but with your fingers and toes, with your belly and sacrum, with your eyes and mouth and the tender ventricles of your brain.

There is another question far more worthy of your attention and that question is "What Now?" Do you want to walk backward for the rest of your days looking only to the past for guidance and strength? What if you were to see yourself from a much higher vantage point, where past and future, here and now are all one place from which to live. Do you notice how different that is?

Allow yourself to be mindful on the path and notice when you are guided to sit with your back against a tree or you feel a nudge to look up just as a rainbow begins to form against the blackness of the sky. There is no destination more important than being fully in this moment. Let "What Now" become the gentle mantra that leads you out of your head, through the earth and back to your heart.

When you see signs full of question marks and exclamation points, smile and say, out loud, "I see you" and continue on without taking the tempting detour. If needed you can even place offerings at the base of these signs; wildflowers or stones, a note of appreciation or forgiveness or anger. You see, if you honor the "Why" without going down that path (which is no path at all and leads to uncharted darkness) you lessen its hold on you, and bit by bit you gain the strength to continue on, one step, one nap, one pause, one page at a time.

As you traverse the path of What Now you will find little stores of nourishment-- a hidden spring with clear, sweet water; a blueberry bush laden with fruit; the softest patch of moss in shades of chartreuse and emerald-- and at each intersection you have the opportunity to open wider or close off, notice exactly where you are or close your eyes to everything around you, missing the beauty and signs and gifts. You get to choose. Will you turn towards yourself or away?

This is an arduous journey, there is no doubt. Each time you acknowledge Why without giving over to it, you are lightening the weight, dragging less of the past behind you like bricks tied with rope and knotted to your waist.

I bless you with the strength and courage and capacity to honor but not entertain your Whys. May you give all your wild, open-hearted beauty to the vessel of love that has been placed in your hands. What Now will sustain you in the days to come with the gentle reassurance that your path is unfolding without hurry. You cannot know what you will become. That's the mystery. And it will be worth waiting for. You are worth waiting for. You are worth all of the time you need to meander down the trail of grief listening intently to your soul